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Shaman Milo (#2877)

Owner: 0x24D7…e52b

Chapter 1: A key in the firelight

Milo watched from the shadows as the lone sorceress lovingly caressed the golden key. The metal shone seductively in the firelight. His hands trembled in anticipation.

Bring it to us, we must have it! Bring it to us now!

Milo nodded fervently as the voices urged him on. He crept through the dark copse, careful not to make a sound as he walked on the leaf-littered ground. If the legends about these keys were true, who knew what power this one might hold?

He smiled greedily to himself and pointed his forked garnet staff at the ground, the crimson stone whirring softly as it hovered in the air between the staff’s split head. Faint trails of mist crept from the stone, questing out over the carpet of fallen leaves. The mist coaxed sinewy roots out of the ground and in a flash the roots had wrapped themselves around the sorceress. Though she struggled, the roots tightened their coils, constricting her breathing and preventing her from screaming.

As the face of the sorceress turned purple, Milo leaped into the circle of firelight and snatched up the key from where it had fallen on the bare earth. He held it in his two hands, the firelight reflected off the key, illuminating the bottom of his face. His blue rat, Seth, squeaked longingly from the ground next to his feet. Milo knew that the voices spoke to Seth too.

Suddenly wild noises erupted in the darkness all around them. A large shape burst into the clearing in a whirl of brilliant white, gold, and pink. A spear-like horn tipped with a vicious point bore down on Milo as he raised his garnet staff to strike, but he was too slow. The key was ripped from his hands, spinning around the horn before being flung over the fire and out of sight.

Noooooooooo!

The voices seared through his mind and a large Rune of Venus on a rounded plate of burnished gold slammed into his face. The last thing he heard as he was flung backwards was a triumphant neighing: “YEAH baby! Now that’s how it’s done!”

Chapter 2: The genesis of a trio

The sun was beating down on Milo. His head pounded as he was jostled up and down, his hands bound behind him. Everything ached, but for once, mercifully, the voices were silent. He decided to remain as still as possible in the hope that they wouldn’t return. Maybe he could also discover what in the Runiverse had happened to him.

The voice he had heard just before he had been knocked unconscious was speaking: “Now, see, just because a being has four legs, does that automatically mean they gotta be the one doing all the carrying? I mean, I ain’t complaining, it’s just something to ruminate on, y’know?”

“It’s not because you have four legs, Ishtar. I’m not asking Haze to carry him. You just happen to be such a big, strong pony!”

The pony – Ishtar? – grunted in response to his female companion. “Well technically, Haze doesn't really have any legs, does she? She’s a shard of the bloomin’ celestial consciousness. Wouldn’t be right to ask her.”

“Such a noble steed! Don’t worry, we’ll be there before nightfall – see that low set of hills up ahead? Should be far enough from the Veil for Rainbow Cakes to split the fabric of the cosmos. For some reason elevation seems to help.”

“Yes, well, good. But hey, listen, don’t you get any ideas Sheba, this is a partnership, got it? I ain’t nobody’s steed.”

“Of course not. Haze is my familiar and we’re also partners. So I guess now that makes us a trio.”

The pony seemed to be mulling this over as they walked on in silence for a short time. Milo cautiously opened one eye and was blinded by the harsh light. When he regained his vision, he saw a fox trotting along beside him, grinning up at him and making a point – it seemed – of flashing rather large canines in his direction. Milo looked to the side and saw Seth. The blue rat’s head poked out of a small sack that bounced off the gold armour plating on the pony’s flank. Seth’s eyes looked wild as he stared in naked terror at the fox.

A dusky face framed by raven hair had popped into his view. The girl’s large dark eyes sparkled with amusement: “Don’t worry about the teeth, she’s not serious. It’s just fox humour. She’s really taken to it.” The girl winked at Milo, then disappeared from view again. The vixen’s grin widened, then she looked meaningfully at Seth and ostentatiously licked her lips.

The pony was speaking again. “You know Sheba, last night was pretty fun. The old unicorn horn ain’t seen that much action in… hoo-wee, I don’t even remember! If I didn’t have this load on my back, I reckon I’d do a little prance. You got it baby, a trio we are!”

The girl barked a short, triumphant laugh. Milo was starting to feel decidedly woozy, and the conversation faded into the background.

♀

When Milo came around he looked up to see a rolling set of grassy hills. The girl and the pony were seemingly still talking.

“…That’s nothing, if you’re looking for conceited, let me tell you something: my father cloned himself in owl form to be his own familiar!”

The pony gave a whinny of amusement. “Are you serious?”

“Oh that’s not even the worst part. He even named it after himself!”

The pair began laughing uproariously. Now that the pain in his head was subsiding, Milo began to feel a little disgruntled.

“Hey! Hey, you two! What is the meaning of this? Do you know who I am? Release me this instant!”

The laughter cut short immediately and the jostling stopped as the pony came to a standstill. Milo could hear the girl’s footsteps approaching, then she was standing next to him. He squinted up at her.

“Oh no, Milo. No, no, no, no, no. I know exactly who you are. You’ve been a very naughty Shaman. You know extorting and killing Rudimentals gives the magic community a bad name. It’s no wonder the Celestials are gaining support against planetary magic. And then you went and killed that sorceress. That’s something I can usually get behind, but for a shadowkey? Now the Key Master has to get involved.”

Milo summoned up his most convincing indignation. “Shadowkey? What in the Sacred Pillars are you talking about? It was a gift from a close witchdoctor friend of mine, and that wretched sorceress stole it from me!”

“Milo, Milo, Milo. While you were unconscious, I cast my Rune of Mercury around you, and it told me everything. Now, I could have done that last night if somebody had been a little less eager…”

“Hey, you said ‘here we go’, baby, so I went! Charge first and cast spells later. Always conserve the magic! That’s the pony way,” Ishtar interjected.

“Yes, well, it was a lovely charge, no question about that. But the fact remains, this idiot’s fate is now out of my hands.”

Milo cursed his captors loudly and inventively as the party continued up the gentle slope of the grassy hillside, but fell into a sullen silence after the girl casually mentioned the effects of some of her favourite Hex Mage curses.

Finally, as the sun was setting over the lofty mountain range in the distance, they crested a rise and came to a standstill.

“Right,” said the girl. “Time for a bit of summoning!”

Chapter 3: A stylish arrival; a stylish departure

A sharp crack sounded high in the sky, and thunder rumbled through the heavens.

A blur of colours streaked towards the small group, and the ground shook as it hit the top of the hill in a rolling cloud of dust. As the dust settled, a sonorous voice boomed across the land: “BEHOLD MY QUANTUM STYLE!”

“He always does that,” Bathsheba murmured to the pony out of the corner of her mouth.

As the dust cleared, Wizard #777 spread his arms wide. “Ah, my child, I see you have been busy! And you have a new friend! May I say that pink tail is absolutely fabulous. Is that a set of Legendary Armour? I had not thought to see such finery again, not since Nergal the Pugnacious retired to the Dream Realm. It warms my heart to see that the Dream Ponies have returned to the physical world.”

Milo gaped at the wondrous rainbow-coloured colossus striding towards them. His one giant eye was set in the centre of a golden pyramid-shaped head wedged onto his muscular shoulders. In his right hand he held a large golden key, identical to the one Milo had held in his hands so briefly the night before, though this one was dwarfed by the Key Master’s massive fist. A translucent Infinity Rune revolved lazily in the air just above the pyramid’s apex.

“Sacred Key Master, well I gotta tell ya, this is wild! You were always in all of Nergal’s best stories! I never thought I’d get a chance to meet ya!”

“Rainbow Cakes, this is Pony #77. He’s agreed to join me and Haze in hunting down the shadowkeys for you.”

“Well that’s fantastic, ₿ݼշիԳ϶ꝧꜳ! But I do wish you wouldn’t call me that. It’s bad enough when Derek does it.”

“Alright, alright, keep your colours on. Where is Derek anyway?”

“He’s taken a quick detour to the Psychic Leap. He knows I can’t go there; I think he does it just to annoy me. He did mention something about finding some minds to chew on… I try not to ask too many questions; you know how sphinxes are.”

“Sure do, big guy. Anyway, do you want to see your present?”

Bathsheba loosened Milo’s bonds and tugged the back of his robe, dumping him off the pony so that he landed with a painful thud.

“Ow! Hey, watch it!

“SILENCE, wretch!” boomed the Key Master. Milo quailed in the grass, squeezing his eyes shut before the unbearably righteous radiance. He heard the heavy steps of the Key Master approaching.

“Hmmm, very interesting. ₿ݼշիԳ϶ꝧꜳ, did you feel the spirits? They’ve got almost complete control over him. I wonder what they offered him that convinced him to act as their vessel?”

The rage exploded within Milo; he was powerless to stop it. “I’ll kill you, all of you! Just you wait!”

“You see how they puppet him?” asked the Key Master. He pressed a meaty fingertip to Milo’s forehead, pinning the Shaman’s head to the ground. Milo struggled vainly, the frenzied voices screeching and clamouring in his mind.

“I know,” said the girl. “I had to cast a suppression spell. I could still hear them babbling on even after Ishtar knocked him out. They’re rather annoying.”

“Indeed. It’s good that you found him when you did. The spirits might have conjured potent magic if they had managed to latch onto the wizard’s soul trapped in this shadowkey. Let’s get them all to Wizard #1175 shall we? He’s got his work cut out for him this time!”

Milo kicked out futilely as he was hauled up off the ground by the back of his tunic. The Shaman suddenly felt a deep sense of despair wash over him; the voices in his head shrank inwards, whispering fearfully.

“Everybody ready?” called out Sacred Key Master.

“Yee-haw! Sugar cubes time, baby!”

Rainbow light pulsed all around them. In a flash of brilliance, they shot upwards into the sky, the pony’s final words trailing behind them.