Total Void of Absolute Nothingness

The Total Void of Absolute Nothingness (Void to his friends) isn’t quite a creature, isn’t quite a god, isn’t quite a black hole, but a tripped out, cosmos bending combination of all three. The Void is the omniscient third eye watching over all the dimensions, like a cool version of HAL 9000 or a charismatic version of the Magic Mirror from Snow White or an extra cryptic version of a fortune cookie or a less annoying version of a Magic 8-Ball or a more sanitary version of a Ouija board. Because he’s eternal and all knowing he’s extremely cool under pressure (what pressure?) and unflappable (“Ayo keep your pants on - planets come and go, this one’s no different, capiche?”) The troubles of towns, cities, prefectures, and planets don’t bother him, he’s a big picture guy, more focused on fate, karma, and the timeline.

The Void’s personality changes when he’s in astro-humanoid form, going from Booming God-Like to something more closely resembling Joe Pesci in Goodfellas, busting balls with the crew in a thick Italian/Jersey accent and keeping things very real. He uses different nicknames for the crew every time he comes down, like Ghorhoth could be Snakeface or Octoneck or Toenails. Zelda could be Wicked, Swampgas, or that magic broad. Optimus could be Ping Pong, Peeperoni, or Ol’ Blue Eye. Nobody likes getting his nicknames but everyone laughs when somebody else gets one.

The Void first noticed Billy because Billy was traveling through him far more often than the average necromantic goat (or anyone else for that matter). When he realized that Billy was acting as an agent of karmic balance, he decided to visit him in his astro-humanoid form and find out more about him. It seemed like Billy knew almost as much about what was happening in the Void as the Void did, and they spent days swapping stories about Billy’s interplanetary adventures and the Void’s work to avert cosmic meltdowns. The two have been close friends ever since, and the Void tries to help Billy out when he can because he’s seen his fate and he knows his important role in the future.

The Void’s humanoid silhouette contains ever changing visuals from space: nebulas shimmering like fine silks, stars sparkling like the most dazzling diamonds, and cosmic rays casting ever changing patterns across his exquisite space drip. Every once in a while a black hole might form on his sleeve and he’ll warn you to stand back or risk getting sucked in. “whoa whoa whoa, watch your hand there friend. Do you want to get it ripped off by a black hole? It don’t matter to me, I’m just giving you a heads up in case you’re left handed.”

The Void is an eternal being just like Ghorhoth so they know each other from way way back but they’re not exactly friends. While Ghorhoth is kind of a loud ugly slob, The Void is poetic, prophetic, and cooler than the farthest reaches of space. Ghorhoth was always insecure around him because his mystical domain is the sea while The Void’s mystical domain is the entire cosmos. Ghorhoth could never compete with that, plus The Void is jaw-droppingly beautiful and Ghorhoth’s face looks like a frog choking on worms. Once Ghorhoth started hanging out with Billy The Void became nicer, always making comments in front of Billy about how many eons he and Ghorhoth go back. Ghorhoth knows The Void is only being nice to him because he’s friends with Billy but he doesn’t care because The Void is the shit.

The Void works in mysterious ways. He doesn’t really like getting involved in the day to day business of the cosmos but when he does, incredible things can happen. He can move planets with his mind and swap events from different timelines like they were checkers on a board. Sometimes it takes a while for the crew to fully understand the wisdom he drops but it always winds up being right on. For he is the All Seer and also the True Third Eye.

Any time he catches his reflection in something he preens a little, adjusting his hair silhouette, straightening the outline of the sleeves of his jacket, maybe adjusting a few planetary orbits so they complement the lines of his suit. He’s always carrying his pet (chihuahua-esque) alien creature who bites but the Void refuses to admit it, insisting ‘that’s just how he says hi.’

The Void is always paranoid that someone was followed on the way to the meeting. He says he has to keep a low profile to avoid attracting crowds, but that doesn’t seem like the real reason. He always sits with his back to the corner so nobody can sneak up on him, ever.

Sometimes he’s not in the mood to come down to planets and he might teleport his guests to an intergalactic dive bar where he’s the bartender, or a poker table with planets in the pot instead of chips, or an auto shop where he’s working under a Saab with only his legs sticking out, or the rec room of the retirement home where his old man lives, or a seedy racetrack where tiny aliens ride humans around in circles.

Written by Rob Anderson with Tim Smith

Entered by: 0x279c…43cd