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Hex Mage Bathsheba of the Villa (#3914)

Owner: 0x24D7…e52b

Bathsheba of the Villa… I always hated that name. Surely only a deluded celebrity would name his child Bathsheba!

Admit it, the first thing that entered your mind when you decided to test yourself against me was that I must be some stuck-up rich kid who only managed to get her Mage status because her daddy is on the Blue Wizard Council. What could she possibly have learnt in the Bastion, being whisked back to her sprawling villa on the shores of Dream Master Lake at the first sign of any inconvenience in her spoilt little existence?

Fair enough, I’ll admit it, my father is on the Blue Wizard Council. And yes, we do have a family villa on the lake… not that either of those facts are particularly significant either way. Well, I’ll tell you one thing, in the world of magic, it always pays to be underestimated. You don’t think I wear this purple velour luxury tracksuit because it’s the height of Mage fashion, do you?

You must be wondering where all of this is going. Well, I’m going to let you in on a little secret, but before I do, keep in mind – wizard or not – that the last place you want to be is on the wrong side of a Hex Mage. Are you ready?

I am not from this world. Excellent. Now that I have your attention, let’s begin.

First things first: my true name is not really Bathsheba, although that is the closest your human vocal cords will ever get to pronouncing it.

Secondly, he’s not my real father. If you have two brain cells to bang together, you may have already figured that out from the whole “I am not from this world” reveal. No, he was out questing (we all know what you wizards are like) on the outer reaches of the Infinity Veil – trying to take ‘psychic readings’ with some or other new gadget they had just developed in the Bastion’s laboratories. Before he knew what was happening, he had accidentally pierced the Veil and was swept through, beard and all, into the Psychic Leap.

And there I was: a majestic psychic entity thousands of years old, selected by the celestial consciousness to be sent to your realm to impart the knowledge of the cosmos… trapped in a tiny helpless pink sack of meat, bones, and worryingly slippery internal organs, incapable of conveying even the simplest of concepts to another being. Now that is ironic.

‘The great Wizard #3917’, hero that he is, picked up this poor defenceless infant and brought her back to his villa, to raise her as his own. Never mind that he found me sitting in the middle of a glowing Mercury Rune clutching the Torch of Prometheus, a flame that is sustained by sparks of intellect gathered from across the cosmos; some people wouldn’t recognise a cosmic sign if it yanked their long white beard and said “Hey, insignificant mortal carbon-based being, I’m a cosmic sign, can I please have some recognition?”

Acquiring Hex Mage status is not exactly challenging when you have an intellect developed over several millennia and were gifted a second birth through a timeless magical portal. I tried to bide my time; I tried to be patient, to let my body mature to a point when these juvenile centenarians would finally be able to accept some of the Runiversal truths that I was trying to offer them. It didn’t work. It turns out that a young girl trying to impart Runiversal knowledge to supposedly wise ‘old’ wizards quickly gets labelled as “uppity” and “troublesome”. Apparently, I’m full of “ideas above my station”. If only they knew…

So I left their stuffy classrooms and dusty books behind and set off to get things done for myself. That’s why I’m here now, facing you in a body just fourteen of your strangely sluggish years old, alongside my familiar, Haze… who is just now reminding me that I haven’t introduced her yet.

Haze is no ordinary familiar. Two years ago, I journeyed back over Hue Master’s Pass to the Psychic Leap and cast a Mercury Rune of my own. Haze is a shard of the celestial consciousness, a cosmic fox formed by the Rune to aid me in my mission. We share a psychic connection that runs deeper than anything you could possibly imagine, and she is a consummate judge of character.

I haven’t been back to Blue Wizard Bastion since the day I left. I don’t know if anyone there even cares. To my (rather extensive) knowledge, nobody has come looking for me. But none of that really bothers me. Haze and I have set out to explore this entire world, to bring more wizards into the fold for the battles to come. You’ve no doubt heard the rumours, the whispered half-truths about me – that’s why you’re here. Maybe you think to put me in my place, maybe you have some vague inkling of the vast sea of knowledge out there beyond your current abilities. Or maybe you just want to do some good in the world. Whatever the case, my Mercury Rune has already been cast around you and soon enough it will reveal your deepest desires.

And what if Haze and I judge you to be unworthy? Well, I’m a psychic cosmic Hex Mage, and I’m not particularly attached to sentimental ideas like “the sanctity of human life”.

Now tell me, what makes you think you are worthy? I hope you’re at your most convincing today…

Story Arc Index:

Prologue: Wizard #3914

Part 1: Pony #77

Part 2: Wizard #2877

Part 3: Wizard #1175

Part 4: Wizard #3901

Part 5: Wizard #4841

Part 6: Wizard #2885

Part 7: Wizard #3917

Part 8: Wizard #6084

Entered by: 0x24D7…e52b and preserved on chain (see transaction)