Krafili throws a log on the fire and sits down in his chair, then strikes a match and lights his pipe. As he begins to puff on his pipe, a hand slaps him on the back of his head.

SMACK

"No smoking around the children!" His wife says.

Rubbing the back of his head, he grumbles to himself as he puts out his pipe.

He reaches up above the fireplace for his sword, which is covered in chips and scratches.

Krafili is a tall kobold with a large red beard that is starting to gray. His belly, which you can tell from his build, used to be hard as iron; Now, it’s begun to bloat from lack of exercise. He has scars all up and down his arms and legs. The largest of scars is one that goes across his face spanning from the top of his hairline and disappears down into his beard.

He settles into his large chair made of deer hide. Children start to gather around him, eagerly awaiting his tales.

Krafili settles the children with a wave of his giant arm and takes a deep breath.

"Settle down, settle down, grandpa has a tale for you!"

The room goes quiet and the crackling of the fire fills the space.

"You wanna know where this chip came from?"

"YES!!" scream the children

"Okay, okay, settle down." He chuckles to himself a bit and begins "Have you ever heard of the goblin king, Grugal?"

"NO!!" yelled the children.

"Oh, stop making stuff up," says his wife as she sits next to him and sips her tea. She grabs her knitting needles and continues knitting what appears to be some sort of hat.

He shoots her a playful glance and looks back at the children.

"Well!" he begins, "Grugal wasn't a very big goblin but he was as strong as an ox and carried a great sword on his back. He had red eyes and breath that could kill an ogre!"

He grabs his nose and begins fanning his face as the children begin to laugh.

"I had to fight through hundreds of goblins to get to the king but when I did we had a fight that would make the great Merlin cower in fear!"

The children gasp.

His wife starts to pay less attention to the knitting as she listens to him speak, as if she hasn't heard this story a thousand times by now.

"On my way back from my adventures in the Quantum Shadow, I passed by this strange town in the middle of nowhere. Having run low on supplies, I decided to stop in to restock. As I approached the town, an arrow whizzed by my head, nearly hitting me. But I was too quick for the arrow, and dodged it!"

RECORD SCRATCH

Krafilis' wife butts in.

"We both know goblins have awful aim, I'm sure they were nowhere near yo- "

" Hey! I'm telling the story here!" Krafili exclaims.

Ahem

"As I was saying," Krafili continues, "well...okay, maybe the arrow wasn't that close but I could feel the evil intention behind the shot!"

The children begin to snicker. "Grandpa, are you telling fibs?" asks the youngest of the kids.

"No, I'm not telling fibs, I'm just telling you the truth as I remember," replies Krafili.

"You would forget where you left your head if it wasn't attached to you," his wife butts in.

"Pish, posh, woman!" says Krafili, trying to seem stern, but smirking under his beard.

"Now, where was I?" he says as he strokes his beard.

"Oh yes! I was riding into town and an arrow struck my helmet and bounced off.”

He shoots a look over to his wife, which, she understands, means to just let him have his fun.

He proceeds, "I began to serpentine towards the city and saw on the wall of the city, thousands of goblins!"

"Grandpa, do you mean that town around Kelpie's bay? Because that town is pretty small!"

"Well, who do you think cut it down to that size?!" Krafili says while slicing the air with his arm.

"I destroyed that town and made it look like a simple village!"

"WOW!!" say all the children together.

"I took out every goblin in that town before the sun set! I entered the main castle of the town to find the king awaiting me—we then fought until the sun came up!"

DING

"Oh my, I'm sorry, dear, the cookies are ready, I'll be right back." Krafilis wife says, as she puts down her knitting needles and gets up, walking to the kitchen.

"Cookies sound good right about now, what do yall think? Let's eat, then I'll tell you about the battle of the century!"

Entered by: 0xEC17…4bc7 and preserved on chain (see transaction)